A Girl in Eastbourne - March 2011

Last weekend I attended the Transliving Weekend, held in the Haddon Hall Hotel in Eastbourne. Before I departed, I rang ahead to check that the hotel were definitely expecting me and I learned to my consternation that they had no record of me. It looked like I would have to stay at home. The organisers called me back and it was established that my booking form and cheque had never been received. However, all was not lost, as an attendee had cancelled and so there was a room available for me as long as I could pay in cash when I arrived. This was not a problem for me, so I eagerly accepted the offer and set off with a happy heart. The journey to Eastbourne took several hours, but my enthusiasm and energy were barely diminished. Once I had checked in, had a refreshing bath and had put on a lovely flowery maxi-dress and high heels, I was relaxed and happy. There were a few familiar faces from a similar event that I had attended last September and so I caught up with them and made some new friends. After dinner was the first event of the weekend, the Miss Transliving Beauty Pageant, in which I took part. Lady Luck was smiling on me, for there was a make up lady who very kindly offered to give me a makeover and I enjoyed being made up. I looked and felt really fantastic. Being a beauty contestant was a whole new experience for me. I tried to walk elegantly, remembering to smile and to be radiant, with some success, as I finished in the top ten. But the contest was won by a stunning lass from Manchester called Fiona. She looked absolutely stunning and the rest of us could only gawp at her in awe and envy as she strutted her stuff and blew the opposition out of the water with ease. We were gallant losers and we offered sincere congratulations to the new Miss Tranquility 2011. With the beauty pageant winner decided, we moved onto the night's disco. The theme was schoolgirls and so I dressed up in my white blouse, school tie, pinafore. proper schoolgirl knickers, socks and mary janes. I put a sweet little pink bow on a headband into my hair and Jasmine the very cute schoolgirl was born. Everyone commented on how convincing and lovely a schoolgirl I made, which of course made me glow with pleasure. Many photos were taken and I danced away in my schoolgirl's outfit with abandon, thoroughly loving the experience. Saturday morning found me popping out early to buy a paper dressed in a denim mini-skirt, lacy top, grey tights, low heeled shoes and a pink overcoat that I had bought specially for this event. I was nervous and self-conscious but there were few people about at that time in the morning and those that saw me didn't give me a second glance. I was just a young woman, out and about as far as I was concerned. I purchased my paper and returned to the hotel, exhilarated by my first excursion en femme. I made a second excursion to the seafront. I was dressed in exactly the same way as before. But this time, it was a hideous mistake. It was the afternoon and there were many more people around. My nervousness heightened. Two men seemed to mistake me for an acquaintance and called out to me and they of course read me. There was no unpleasantness, only surprise on the part of the men and nervousness on my part. I retreated to the sanctury of the hotel. I spent the day looking over some trade stalls that had appeared in the hotel over the course of the morning and I bagged a sexy black negligee, a satin garter belt, a little black dress and a pair of frilly red knickers for a very reasonable price. In the evening there was a caberet, with a fabulous looking and funny drag queen and another disco. I spent the evening talking to people and made some new friends. I felt far more confident as Jasmine and I was wearing a gorgeous blouse and a long length skirt, which I received many compliments on. It was easy to break the ice because you could make a favourable comment on some of the lovely outfits that were being worn and everyone was relaxed and very easy going. I am far more confident and relaxed when dressed en femme and socialising with other TV's. The following day was spent in much the same way. Some shopping at the trade stalls and sitting in the bar and trading our accounts of our lives to date and how we got addicted to being ladies. But, for me, I was less concerned with the past than with the future. Specifically, my future development as a feminine male. Just how far am I going to take this? A year before I had never attended a single TV event and I had dressed only in the privacy of my own home. Now, I was attending my second TV event (with a third only a few weeks away) and itching to get outside as Jasmine. I am normally very timid and indecisive in most areas of my life, but when it comes to dressing I seem to want to push at the boundaries, heedless of the consequences and pitfalls. I would very much like to begin transitioning into a female, as I adore femininity and I know that I am more feminine in nature than masculine. But there are obstacles. Coming out would certainly damage and even possibly cause the abrupt termination of my relationship with my family and my friends. I could hurt people that I love and who I want in my life even if it does mean having to play a part which I am becoming increasingly unfitted to play. I had much to ponder over the course of the weekend and I am still undecided. There was a mock wedding in the afternoon. For some reason, the bride's entrance was delayed and we spent a lot of time hanging about. When the bride did eventually appear, she was beautiful and radiant in a white satin gown and veil. It was a beautiful ceremony. The last night of the event was spent, by me at any rate, talking to my sisters, empathising with each other, giving constructive criticism on our presentation, and sharing the stories of our lives. It was kind of like a slumber party, but without any PJ's around. The winners of another competition "Coverbabe Spring Princess" were announced and I couldnt have been more pleased that one of my new friends, Nicole, was one of the winners. Nicole is petite, sweet and very feminine and she had told me that she had spent a fortune on her appearance during a long conversation I had with her. The evening gradually wound down and, with great reluctance, I retired to bed and put off my skirts. I can't wait until May, when another TV event and the chance to allow Jasmine to come out to play presents itself. (Not sure why it has come out as one big block of text. I did put lines in but the blog has ignored them Jasmine :( )